Techivita/Koshira’s note: oh lookie it's Katasu~ Katasu really wanted to write a note tooo~ (Katasu stop talking in 3rd person.) So anyways Jorat has become pretty infamous lately~ Thank you for the love and share the story with everyone you know I guess? (PLEASE KNOW THAT NOTHING IN THE STORY THAT HAPPENS IS REAL! According to some insight, some people ACTUALLY thought this ship is real, but sadly it isn’t. It is a work of fiction and the boredom of two girls who like to write for fun. Sorry to both Josh and Surat if anything happened to you guys because of this <3) Remember, Techivita and I wrote this together so the moral is two heads better than one? Without further adieu~ Merry Christmas!
Chapter 3 – Falling to Pieces
Written by Katasu1996 and Techivita
Dasha was slowly walking towards the lunchroom. The bell had already rung and she didn’t really care if she went to Health today. It’s Health. Plus she needed to get her Japanese homework done ASAP. Rokindo Sensei was already ashamed of her for not doing so well on the latest kanji test, and she didn’t need another reason to bring down her grade even more. She hung tight to her lunch bag as she entered the spacious area full of tables and disgusting cardboard school food. She looked around, searching for someone she recognized; however, it seemed as only freshmen and sophomores situated in the room. She kept searching, hoping to find a familiar face in the sea of the unknown.
She glanced over to one of the tables in the back. There was a small yellow bag and a small russian boy sitting at a table with three other people, playing with his phone. The other three people got up and left as the boy seemed irritated in what one of them had said. She, very faintly, heard what they were talking about, however the only thing she managed to get out of the conversation was “Surat”. One of the people leaving was Ashley, a sophomore vocal major she didn’t know too much about. The other two were Matthew and Evelyn. She would have followed them, but she needed to figure out who this boy was first. He seemed familiar, but Dasha couldn’t remember him, as her mind was filled with the thought of the food. She sat on the far side of the lunchroom and ate some of her lunch and contemplated on who the boy was.
After taking a few bites, she remembered. He was the one that Amber and Evelyn introduced to her on skype (which, he was quite rude to her). He was one of the incoming sophomores from last year and part of the really crappy tenor section in Mixed Chorus. She got up and slowly strolled over to him, as seeing there was nothing better to do and sat besides him.
“Annyeongie~” Dasha said. Alex, who was of course playing with his phone, looked up when he heard the high pitched, unrecognizable Korean.
“Oh… um hey.” He replied. His speech seemed different since Dasha last heard him. His voice was more… bright and annoying to say the least, but now it sounded more dreary than ever before.
“Are you ok?” She asked, looking at his phone before returning to glance at his woeful eyes.
“Yea…” He replied drearily.
“Really? hmmm?” Dasha pulled out a bottle of hand sanitizer, rubbing the liquid against her dry hands. “Then what was that back there?”
He looked back at her quizzically. “What are you talking about?”
“You know,” She replied, drying her hand from the the clamminess of the sanitizer, “You seem kind of upset. As if, you were really pissed about something Ashley said… You know.” She replied smugly. “Something about Surat?”
Alex shuffled his feet, tucking his phone and hands into his pockets. “I’m not… it’s…personal.” He couldn’t say it. What was he supposed to say? How could he explain something even he wasn’t even sure of?
“Look I’ll talk to you later.” He said, getting up from the table and walking towards the lunchroom door, leaving his plate of cardboard school food behind. Dasha watched as he walked away with a hurried stride, forcibly pulling open the lunchroom doors.
“Is he always like that?” She thought to herself. They had only met a few times before and never had actually initiated in conversation before. She would find out later, but first, FOOD!
Mymoena was feeling this day. She had gotten a ton of compliments on her new makeup, and was able to enjoy an interesting voice class for once. Not to mention, Mrs. Bishop finally complemented the alto section for once in her life. She was even fully satisfied with her outfit: her favorite Beatles t-shirt and her Chuck Taylor converses, so she knew this was going to be a good day.
Mymoena pushed her red hair out of her face as she strolled into her Chemistry class. Good thing Dr. Cheng was pretty nonchalant about basically everything. She definitely did not have the energy in trying to figure out chemical compounds today. She opened her notebook and started doodling when she was surrounded by a loud slam next to her. She looked up and saw a really frustrated Ashley standing besides her.
“Woah what’s with the mood Ash?” Mymoena asked. Ashley slumped down to her seat, folded her arms on her desk and collapsed her head onto them. Ashley gave a long sigh and stayed in that position until Mymoena questioned her again.
“Stuff. Things. Everything. Everything is just a mess.” Ashley replied at last with a sorrowful tone. Mymoena didn’t know how to reply. She knew that Ashley usually had guy troubles, however, this seemed to hit closer to home than usual.
“Do you want to hug it out?” Mymoena asked. Ashley nodded her head and she wrapped her arms around Ashley and patted her back. The two sat in silence as Dr. Cheng rambled on about nonsense.
“Ashleeeeeeeeeeeey what are you doooooooooooooooing?” Dr. Cheng said, breaking the silence with his semi-monotone voice. The rest of the class turned to the pair, who were still hugging after a few minutes.
“Can’t you see she’s in a predicament?” Mymoena replied back with a harsh tone. They broke the hug and Ashley crossed her arms and face-desked onto the table.
“Oh well… the school has drama, what can I say?” Dr. Cheng replied smugly and went back to writing another “Aim” on the board.
Mymoena patted Ashley on the back once more. “So do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”
Ashley slowly lifted her head and looked dolefully at Mymoena.
“Well I just found out mi petite croissant is gay…” Ashley started. Mymoena wasn’t completely shocked by this. LaGuardia can basically turn anyone into a homosexual, despite the number of girls within the school. Surat just happened to be one of them; however, Ashley being upset over this seemed totally illogical, considering boys were complicated enough as it is.
“And why exactly would you be upset over something like that?” Mymoena replied after a period of silence. “Shouldn’t you be happy for him?”
“Well… yea… but… He… I don’t know… maybe i’m just in shock.” Ashley replied, unknowing how to answer that question. “I just didn’t know he would be… well… you know.”
Mymoena patted Ashley on the back once again. “Well at least he’s not a zygon.” Mymoena stated.
Ashley chuckled a bit and smiled. “Yea, otherwise we’d all be screwed.” Mymoena laughed along. No one around them would understand the reference, but its not like they cared; at least it made the pair feel better.
“Well at least some of the ships you made for him can come true.” Mymoena said after a bit.
Ashley smiled gleefully once again.
“Yea thats true. Plus we can talk about guys together.” she replied.
They chatted in delight until the bell rang, signaling the end of their milquetoast chemistry class.
Evelyn sat at the computers frantically trying to finish her APCOMP homework. She managed to write three short stories yesterday, yet she didn’t have enough time to finish her double entry journals. Quoting things were easy, however, finding out what they actually meant was the problem. She sighed again as she scrolled back up on the computer, trying to find the quote she had lost a few minutes earlier.
“Abate?” A voice from behind her asked. Evelyn turned to find Renée standing behind her clutching her backpack and lunchbox in her hands.
“Yea.” Evelyn replied as Renée sat next to her. “Did you finish Chapter 11?”
“Yea, and she’s checking it too.” Renée replied in warning, handing Evelyn her quotes “So you better hurry and finish it.”
“Thanks for the info.” Evelyn replied as she took the papers from Renée and scrambled to write down the quote she had recently found.
“So how’s it going?” Renée asked as she pulled out her phone to check Tumblr.
“Pretty good I guess. You?” Evelyn replied still frantically writing.
“I’m good I guess.” Renée replied, still scrolling through the the Teen Wolf tag. “So how’s it going with… you know.” Renée said after a period of silence.
“Are… are you asking about-“
“Come on Eve, you know what I’m talking about.” She replied mischievously,nudging Evelyn with her arm.
“Oh…” Evelyn said gloomily, realizing where the conversation was going. Somehow, one way or another, the topic of Josh would somehow appear within any of the pair’s conversation. Sure she liked him, but the fact she knew that he wouldn’t like her back always made the conversation seem worthless. Not to mention the topic on crushes and boyfriends made her cringe on the inside and had gotten her into deep water before.
“Didn’t see him at the mezz today.” Evelyn started, slowly ceasing her writing. “Why are we still talking about this? I thought I said I was just going to be friends with him.” She replied dolefully. Renee just smiled back gleefully.
“Yea but you still like him anyway.” Renée replied. “You might as well just ask him out already.”
Evelyn’s cheeks turned a bright shade of pink. “That… no…”
“Oh come on.” Renée replied playfully. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Him rejecting me…” Evelyn replied drearily, resuming to write her quotes down.
“Come on,” Renée replied “At least then you wont have to wonder if he likes you or not and you can get over him.”
“True, but lies hurt less than the truth.” Evelyn replied, starting to get slightly irritated at the topic.
“Awww come on.” Renée said nudging Evelyn again with her arm. “It can’t be that bad.”
“Maybe.” She said dolefully as the bell rang, signalling the end to the conversation.
Matthew hadn’t seen Alex this upset since… well… that’s another story. But he hadn’t seen him so aggravated at anyone or anything besides when they played Super Craft Bros in forever, and it actually made him feel kind of bad for him.
“Hey” Matthew said. Alex gave him a small smile bent with sadness as he sat next to him. Dr. Cheng wouldn’t mind him changing seats. It’s not like he did anything anyway. Matthew watched as Alex slouched into his chair, his eyes tuning out of focus. Clearly, Alex wasn’t in the mood to talk. But what could he do? He couldn’t leave his best friend alone like this…
Alex’s pupils dilated, color breathing into his face as he turned to Matthew, escaping from his thoughts.
“I’m sorry man, but you haven’t been yourself. Especially today, but honestly, for a while. You’re upset. C’mon, what’s up?”
Alex held his breath. Matthew was his friend. His very best friend. They had sleepovers together for goodness sake. If anyone had the right to know, it was him.
“I may… I… Um… Er… I like… um… Surat.” Alex whispered, slowly sinking into his seat. Matthew was shocked. For one he didn’t expect Alex to be a homosexual, mostly because he would always joke around about people being homosexuals and throwing around the term “gay” improperly.
“Um… uh… that’s nice… I guess… lol.” Matthew replied awkwardly, not knowing how to respond. Matthew was completely fine with Alex being gay. In fact, he… well…
Matthew realized he was staring into Alex’s eyes and so broke eye contact with him. Matthew felt warmth rise in his cheeks and suddenly had a dizzy spell. He shivered, trying to breathe properly. Rather than amuse his own imagination with this newfound information, he felt it was his duty as his friend to tell him what he knew.
“Alex… um I’m cool with you being homo and all, whatever, but um… I heard Surat was getting uh… kinda cozy with someone else…”
Alex’s eyes sharpened, becoming possessive. Alex turned away from Matthew, not wanting him to see his anger.
“What… like who, what…”
Matthew felt torn inside. He didn’t want Alex to be hurt. At the same time, not telling him anything would also be hurting him…
“Alex…. you heard Surat fell down the stairs right? The one who brought him to the nurse’s office is Josh. Apparently they spent a long time there together… and now they’re not really talking to each other.” Alex nearly wanted to squeal for joy. There was a chance! A chance! However, the grim look on Matthew’s face proved otherwise.
“I think they might making up though….” Matthew stated gloomily. He lifted his hands as if to plead for mercy, as Alex shot Matthew a glare. Alex was definitely going to take his anger out on him.
“Look, I don’t know anything for sure… but… I think they have something. Maybe you should… look somewhere else…”
The bell suddenly rang, students chattering and packing up to go to their next class. Alex, however, did not. Alex turned around, grabbing Matthew’s wrist as he slung his bag around his shoulder.
“You gave me hope, then you took it away, that’s enough to make anyone dangerous.” He whispered, still sitting in his seat, a quiet anger brewing inside him. Matthew turned away from Alex’s cold stare, walking out the room with goosebumps crawling up the small of his back.
He was going to get Surat.
Surat had gotten a text from Josh asking him to come down to the mezz today, however, Surat contemplated going down because of all the things that has happened between them for the past couple of weeks. Surat opened the blue doors entering the back lobby of the mezzanine. It was dark and quiet, pretty much the opposite of the school during its most active hours. He smiled at to himself, thinking of a time when he had seen Josh there by accident, laughing and joking with the gang. Josh had turned to see him and they had met eyes. At that moment it had seemed as if it were only the two of them….
Surat turned around, his face brightening expecting to see Josh. Instead, Alex stood in his place, the blue door swaying closed behind him. Surat’s face fell, crestfallen. Where was Josh? Why was Alex here? Surat noticed the shadows falling over the left side of his face. His countenance was hardened, his brown eyes strengthening in the dark.
“Oh… hey… Alex…”
Alex moved out of the shadows, his hands burrowed in his pockets. Surat noticed his gait, every step carrying a heaviness. There was a density in the air that ragged down on Surat’s shoulders, his breathing growing heavier. Why did it suddenly get so uncomfortable? Surat pulled on the collar of his sweater, trying to make room for oxygen. Alex stopped suddenly and Surat noticed that Alex was inches from his face. Surat stumbled back, shocked, but Alex only slid closer, the tension between them growing.
“A-Alex um… you’re kind of…close…”
Surat’s small hands clutched onto his chest. Alex’s eyes searched Surat’s face, a mixture of discomfort and confusion.
“For a year…”
Alex whispers seem to echo around the dead silent mezzanine. Only the sound of the noisy city behind them resounded in the halls.
“I’ve only looked at you.”
Alex’s eyes began to redden, tears whelming up. His face grew a turnip shade of red, his heart racing. Surat didn’t understand. He moved back again, but Alex only moved forward. Surat stumbled backwards until his hands met the railing of the glass walls of the mezzanine. Alex placed his palms around the railing, his body surrounding Surat’s, keeping him from moving anywhere else. Alex leaned into Surat’s face, Surat shivering with uncomfort.
“Why are you acting like this? We’ve been friends for, like, a year… I don’t get why your-”
Surat was silenced by the sudden force of Alex’s lips against his. Surat pulled away, coughing for air, but Alex maneuvered his face, forcing his lips to move against his. He felt the harsh warmth of Alex’s lips, moving viciously against his own. Alex grabbed Surat’s arms, as they flailed, trying to escape from Alex’s embrace. Although he tried to stop it, Surat felt Alex’s tongue enter his mouth, thrashing against his. Surat felt elated by the kiss on one level because Alex was such a good kisser. He felt the full throttle of Alex’s passions and yet it was wrong. It disgusted him on an emotional level.
No. This was wrong. Surat didn’t want Alex.
He wanted Josh.
Surat bit Alex’s lips as they pushed against his lips. Alex yelped, allowing Surat enough time to pull his mouth from his. He pushed Alex away, sending him falling to the ground. His chest fell up and down furiously, as a tear fell down his cheek. Surat had never breathed this hard before. He had also never been this angry at someone in his life. How could he just….
Alex scoffed, spitting blood onto the mezzanine floor. He wiped the blood from his lip with the back of his hand, flexing his knuckles. He pushed himself up, running his right hand through his hair with frustration. Surat continued to silently sniffle, as the tears continued to slowly fall to the floor. Alex looked up at him, his expression without remorse.
“I’ve looked at you. Only you. If it can’t be me…. It can’t be anyone.”
Alex walked away, staggering as he left. The shock of being rejected hurt.
He was going to make Josh pay.
No matter what.
Josh ran until his feet could carry him no more. That could just have happened. That… no… Josh sat on the steps and held his head in his hands. That… that couldn’t just had happen. Alex? Surat? ALEX?! No no no this can’t be happening. Surat couldn’t have… he…but…
He had come down late because he had forgotten the gift in his locker. Josh pulled his hands from his forehead to reveal the matching couple rings he had bought. He was going to confess to Surat before…
He still remembered. That feeling of pleasure in Surat’s eyes as Alex passionately kissed Surat. He had flailed sure, but Josh saw that Surat had enjoyed the sensation of Alex’s lips against his. He didn’t need to see anymore. He saw that Alex kissed Surat, and that Surat stiffened. That was all he needed to see. Even if Surat didn’t like Alex, him physically receiving pleasure from Alex’s kiss… that was still betrayal to him. Surat had broken a level of trust that couldn’t be taken back.
Josh pressed his hands over his eyes. Well, they hadn’t really been dating in the first place… but they had had something. Josh knew that what he felt for Surat wasn’t totally one sided…. right? Josh sighed, his heart feeling like it was being torn into a million pieces. He didn’t know. He didn’t know anything anymore.
Josh looked up. Evelyn? She was wearing her warm blue jacket, her dalek hat covering her silky black hair, tied in a ponytail as usual. Evelyn hopped down the stairs, sitting next to Josh on the stairs. He smiled faintly, and then promptly returned to sulking.
Evelyn’s almond eyes grew sad at the sight of Josh sulking.
“Hey…” Evelyn said, poking his shoulder softly, “What’s wrong…”
Josh shook his head, his sad hazelnut eyes sparkling in the hazy lighting of the staircase.
“No, it’s fine. Yeah, everything’s fine.”
Josh playfully punched Evelyn’s shoulder, which elicited a soft smile on her face. Evelyn shuffled in her spot, her heart slowly racing.
“You might as well just ask him out already.”
Evelyn shook her head. Nope nope nope nope. Renee was crazy. Straight up crazy. Nope, there was no way, nope, no, nope.
“Come on,” Renée replied “At least then you won’t have to wonder if he likes you or not and you can get over him.”
Evelyn cleared her throat, her cheeks slowly growing pink. Josh noticed there had been silence between for a while now. He turned to see Evelyn’s pink cheeks, her eyes beaming with nervousness. Josh looked at her with worry.
“Evelyn, are you okay? You look… well, pink….”
Evelyn breathed, and turned over to Josh.
“I…. I’ve felt this way for a while now.”
“I… I like you. I’ve always liked you. You. Josh Nodiff. So take responsibility.”