Favbot’s Note: Well, we’re back for another grand smacking episode. Scratch that, this here is a minisode, so we got a bunch of wacky adventures to fill you guys in on. Since I’m lazy and don’t wanna do chapter two, let us indulge on a greater journey. Josh in Mexico, with burritos.

Techivita’s Note: Welcome to 1.5 of BiM, the story that makes about as much sense as the DOE on really bad snow days. Enjoy! *resumes scrolling through Johnlock photos*

Chapter 1.5 – Josh In Mexico… With Burritos

Original Ideas by Favbot

Co-written and Edited by Techivita


The snow poured down from the skies as the winds ripped through the tree branches, making them shiver in fear. Windows were caked in snow, as the only thing one could possibly see through it were the blank white sheets of cold. Josh stood alone in his bedroom, sorting through all of the mail he had picked up earlier. He searched through each one, trying to find one to his name and discarded all the other junk onto the bottom of his cluttered bedroom floor. Finally, after sorting through various envelopes, he found four letters marked with his name. Three of them were from colleges, but he was going to throw those out because like other college letters, they were spam and just wanted him to sign up for random malware or stuff like that…

However the last letter was from a charity service that Josh had signed up for months ago and he was surprised that they had actually written back. He just assumed that the program had forgotten about him, as they had ignored his emails for the past few months. He quickly read through it, his eyes widening in excitement as the letter dropped from his hands to the floor, a grin emerging on his face stretching from ear to ear.

“MOM! MOM! MOM I GOT INTO THE PROGRAM! I’M GOING TO MEXICO!” Josh yelled out. He yelled so loudly that his mother, watching the Pokemon movie in the living room, dropped her ice cream that she was eating onto the floor.

Josh ran towards his closet, quickly opened it, took out his suitcase, and began dropping a shit load of clothes into it. He grabbed various jeans and t-shirts, stuffing them messily into his somewhat small suitcase, as well as accidentally dumping some onto the floor.

“Josh, you’re making a mess! Pick up your stuff. You’re not going to Mexico.” his mom said as she walked into the disheveled room. The room seemed like an ever swirling vortex with random stuff strewn inside it. As if the scattered clothing wasn’t enough to clutter the room, there were also action figures, papers, books, and other sorts of random junk thrown around everywhere, seeming to try to blockade anyone or anything from getting in or out.

“Mom! It’s to help the animals and help Mexico!”, Josh exclaimed as he grabbed his suitcase and ran towards the door. His mom, jumping towards Josh, grabbed a hold of his bag and began to pull it towards herself.

“Josh, you dumb child, give me your bag! Right now!” Josh refused to let it go and pulled harder on the suitcase. The tug of war seemed endless, as if the only way either of them would win was if the handle ripped, which would send the two flying in opposite directions. Josh’s hand slowly moved closer to the door, trying to grasp the doorknob as if it was his only salvation. Josh began to lick his lips, as the suspense was killing him. He was so close! He could almost taste the hardened metal that was suspended amidst the wooden sheet, and smell the factory in China it was made in.

Suddenly, Josh’s mom let go of the suitcase, and knowing physics from what Dr. Cheng taught (basically knowing nothing of the subject), Josh was flung towards the door, hitting his hand and head on the doorknob.

Everything went black.

Josh awoke in a white room, filled with many things that were the same color as the dullness on the walls. It reminded him of one of the testing rooms in Portal, except the only machine that was there was a heart monitor (thankfully). There was only the sound of soft beeping from the heart monitor and the small clicks from a nurse’s heels as she passed by his room. He tried sitting up, but when he did, the room started to swirl around into a large blur, so he slumped back down into the hard bed in defeat. He scratched his head, and realized that there were bandages coiled around the area that he had hit. He looked around the room and saw a table next to him, and situated on there was a clipboard that had his name on it, listing “head trauma, concussion, and coma” underneath it. His ticket from the charity was also clipped amidst the pile of papers.

Josh rolled over to his right and saw a window covered with snow that was slightly opened on the bottom; however he couldn’t see outside because the bars of his bed blocked his view. He slowly got up to a sitting position, letting the wave of dizziness pass him, and looked over at the window again. From what he could see, the drop was only a few meters, and there was snow on the ground, providing a very cold cushion for him to possibly land on. Josh unplugged the heart monitor and took out the needle from the IV before grabbing the ticket and slowly opening the window. He checked behind him, ducking when a doctor happened to pass by his room. When the doctor had passed, he slowly got up, checking carefully for any more people, then jumped out the window.

Falling, he screamed obscenities to the skies as he closed his eyes, waiting for the impact of the snow and concrete against his face. He started to regret the decision as he felt the cold rush of air rushing past him, clutching onto his ticket with all of his might. Luckily for him, the snow cushioned the impact enough that it didn’t obliterate Josh’s already torn up body. Ignoring the shock of coldness, Josh looked back up to make sure no one saw him jump. Thankfully, no one seemed to be peering out the window, so Josh slowly picked himself up from the snow. He got up and then he realized that he was… well… naked. The nurse had probably forgotten to give him a hospital gown. He was going to need to find clothes before he froze to death.

Walking around, Josh pondered on how he would make it to the airport before his flight left. Fortunately, he had found a pair of worn out shoes, shirts and jeans in a dump bin a few blocks back and put them on. It didn’t protect him from the frigid weather, but it was better than walking around naked. He tucked his ticket safely into the jean’s front pocket and continued on his search for warmer clothing. He slowly walked around Manhattan, managing to pick up a coat and some gloves along the way, and hugged himself to conserve warmth.

He was warmer now, but now he had to find a way to get to the airport before freezing to death. He had absolutely no money, and had no idea where he was. He thought about the warm sunlight on his face and the times he would have in Mexico, as he slowly walked through the cold oblivion. The sky started to pour more snow into the streets, abruptly ending Josh’s fantasies as he realized his situation. It was starting to get colder by the minute, and with the miniscule amount of clothing Josh had, it did not shield him much from the piercing ice droplets. The snow patched every part of his already blurred version, which was why he was so shocked when he accidentally bumped into a very large, brown object.

Josh was knocked backwards and looked up to see a very cold horse staring back at him.

“Oh hey horsey! What’s your name?” Josh asked the horse, perplexed by his find. The dark brown creature stood firm, it’s mane caked in layers of snow, and it’s body gleaming in the center of Josh’s vision. It almost seemed angelic, as if the horse descended down from the heavens to help him in his quest to reach Mexico.

The horse didn’t respond to Josh, of course, because horses don’t actually talk. But Josh believed they talk, so he talked to them.

Josh jumped on top of the horse’s back with a graceful leap as the horse started slowly walking. Josh kicked at the horse’s abdomen and the horse began to quickly plow through the snow covered road. They rode off to the distance, quickly advancing through the inclimate weather.

After a few hours of blustering through the snow, and somehow not freezing to death, Josh finally arrived at the airport. He watched as airplanes took off and landed on the long patch of runway in front of him, as he quickly trotted his horse across the large airstrip and walked over to the large doorway in front of the terminal. Josh got off the horse, and used a lasso he found during his travel to tie the horse to him. He slowly lead the horse into the double doorway and it obeyed and followed. Josh pulled out his ticket and started walking the horse around security check. The people on the line stared as they watched the boy and his creature trot past the scanning machines and into terminal one. The officers began to eye him suspiciously and some began to walk over to him. Josh, noticing their quickened movements, began to walk more hastily towards gate D50. The officers began to run towards him, trying to catch up to him and shouted at him.

“Sir! Sir! You can’t walk around with a horse! This is an airport! Bring the horse over to us!” a police officer shouted to Josh. Josh turned around and looked angrily in confusion at the officer.

“What?! Why? I’m taking him to Mexico with me!” Josh replied. Another officer ran up and went to stand besides the first officer.

“Okay kid, what is your name?” The original officer replied, slowly trying to approach the horse without alarming it

“My name is Joshua Nodiff, but you can call me Joshua Nodiff.” Josh replied with an annoyed tone. He saw what the officer was trying to do and started stepping backwards towards the gate.

“Okay, Mr. Nodiff, please bring the lasso and Horsey over here and we’ll take care of her. I have no idea how you got all the way here… past security check… but this should be illegal.” The second officer said.

“His name is Roberto and he wants you to respect our life choices! This is an outrage! I’m going to phone my lawyer!” Josh replied, seeming to be irritated by the officer’s presence. He took out his phone and began to dial a number. The officers looked at each other, confused at what Josh was trying to do.

”Hey, Michael. Yea, it’s me, Josh. I need your help. Do you know if horses are legal in airports? “

“They’re not? Well fuck…”

“Oh I’m headed to Mexico.”

“Yea I’m having fun. I’m ready to go and help the children in need.”

“I’m doing well, how about you?”


“Okay, kid, that’s enough,” The officer said, grabbing the phone from Josh’s hand, and tucking it into his own pocket. Josh futilely tried grabbing the phone back, however, the officer tried grabbing the lasso out of his hands, so Josh had to step back.

“That’s my phone! You can’t take my phone!” said, frustrated with the officers. He tugged on Roberto’s lasso and bolted for the airport gate.

“See… this why I hate the police… They just steal and steal from the people…” Josh shouted back towards the two police officers chasing him. He pushed the officers and flight attendants out of the way and held on tight to the lasso.Roberto galloped in beat to Josh’s footsteps, the two seeming to run together in perfect harmony. They dodged all of the people trying to block their path and ran quickly, getting closer to their gate, until one brave cop, the one cop with the biggest balls of steel out of the entire airport’s security force, jumped out and grabbed the lasso from Josh’s hand, pushing the horse away from Josh. The horse whinnied, crying out to his master. Josh believed he was saying “save me”, but then again, he didn’t speak horse. It tried to kick the police officer, but he stood firm and unmoving, keeping the horse in it’s place. Josh ran on, still dodging the hordes of people trying to stop him from his quest. He reached the gate, the doors closing behind him, preventing anyone or anything from getting in. Josh had won the battle but he had lost so much because of it.

Josh had nothing. The flight attendant took Josh’s ticket and he boarded the plane bound for Mexico. He should have felt happy that he had made it, however, had just lost one of his best friends in the world. Tears began pouring down Josh’s cheeks as the plane ascended into the New York skyline. He watched as the terminal got smaller and smaller, knowing that his friend was still down there, and that there was no possibility of him ever seeing Roberto again.The creature that he had named, taken care off, and fed for hours. Roberto will always be in his heart.

Josh watched until all he could see were the overhead skies of blue and the seemingly fluffy like clouds below. He slowly closed his eyes, remembering all the fun times he had with Roberto and slowly drifted into a deep sleep.

Josh was ready for the adventures he was about to have in Mexico, and the venture of helping kids in need. Although Roberto was forever confined in a prison waiting for the return of his master, who never got fined by the police, Josh had gotten away scott-free. Upon take-off, Josh remembered a big issue that may have an effect on his plans in Mexico, and the bad feeling grew stronger as he stayed aboard the plane. Josh had forgotten his suitcase at home, and was now heading to Mexico with no cash, no clothes, no phone, and nothing but his heart to help.He also realized that he’d have to use a pager to inform Ms. Andrews that he would be missing her make-up test next week (the one that he had to make up a year ago). Even though he left her class twice… she was still watching him. Stalking him.

And little did Josh know, but she was on that very plane with him. She was also on her way to Mexico…